On Tuesday night, late-night hosts discussed a Maha summit in Washington DC, the White House’s new AI-powered website and Donald Trump once again falling asleep on live TV.
Seth Meyers
On NBC, Seth Meyers focused on the president’s ill-phrased announcement of the US murder rate declining. “We have the best, uh, murder,” Trump said.
“What are you talking about, ‘We have the best murder’?” Meyers responded. “It’s a murder rate, not a murder rating.”
On Monday, Trump also took issue with the US ambassador to China, David Perdue’s claim that he offered to sell weapons to China, saying: “I think he was probably talking about Taiwan.”
“So wait, are you saying that we have an ambassador to China who doesn’t know the difference between China and Taiwan?” asked Meyers. “That’s like if Mr Met showed up to the stadium wearing a Yankees jersey.”
Meanwhile, health officials in Florida have issued a local state of emergency after an outbreak of dengue fever. “Man, RFK Jr has only had the job two years and Florida is already turning into an episode of House,” the host laughed.
The White House has also rebuked criticism of taxpayer-funded TV ads. They said “they are public service announcements that are ‘reminding Americans to love their country’”, explained Meyers, before quipping: “The clearest sign of a healthy relationship is if you have to remind someone to love you.”
Trump reportedly told congressional leaders on Friday that he was withdrawing nearly $۱bn in federal funding.
“Oh God, what’s he doing to the reflecting pool now?” joked Meyers. “Is he adding a waterslide?”
Meyers closed his monologue with news that the makers of a smart glasses brand have recalled frames after customers reported them overheating and causing burns.
“Well, I hate to break it to you,” he said, “but no matter what smart glasses you’re wearing, you’re gonna get burned.”
Jimmy Kimmel
On Jimmy Kimmel Live! the host discussed Trump hosting all the top tech executives at the White House for a lunch on Tuesday. The guest list included Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, OpenAI’s Greg Brockman and “House speaker Mike Johnson, “who was there to ask if there was any way that AI could turn him into a real boy”.
In a press conference, Trump announced that he was “changing the name” of AI from “artificial intelligence” to “superintelligence” “So far, everybody likes it,” he added.
“Yes,” responded Kimmel drily. “I’m sure the guy whose company’s name is OpenAI is very excited about this development.
“The idea that our guardrails against AI are being erected by an addled ۸۰-year-old man … It’s like asking your grandpa to set up a wifi router in your house. You just wouldn’t do it.”
The host moved on to talk about the new AI-powered government website America.gov.
“A White House official called America.gov ‘a new front door for the federal government’,” said Kimmel. “You know, we need a new front door because Trump demolished the old front door to build his ballroom.”
Kimmel added that Trump is still trying to blame all of America’s struggles on his predecessor, again branding former president Joe Biden “sleepy” in Oval Office remarks this week. Ironically, Trump fell asleep shortly after.
“Only a few minutes after invoking the name ‘sleepy Joe Biden’, nappy Don Trump drifted off to dreamland on live TV,” Kimmel said.
This week also saw the second annual Maha summit in DC in an event attended by JD Vance, Robert F Kennedy Jr and Mike Tyson.
“You know we’re screwed when the sanest person in the group has half a face tattoo,” Kimmel said.
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