Most couples are aware of the dreaded “seven-year itch”, when the honeymoon period wears off and real life starts to bite.
Now official data has shown that couples in England and Wales are more likely to split after ۲۰ years. According to Office for National Statistics figures, more than a quarter of all divorces between opposite-sex couples happened after ۲۰ years or longer of marriage.
Some celebrities have recently displayed the “۲۰-year itch”, with the former Strictly presenter Tess Daly separating from her husband, Vernon Kay, after ۲۲ years of marriage. The Downton Abbey actor Hugh Bonneville split from his wife, Lulu Williams, in ۲۰۲۳ after ۲۵ years, and in ۲۰۱۹, Colin Firth announced his separation from wife, Livia Giuggioli, after ۲۲. Last year, the Hollywood star Nicole Kidman and and singer Keith Urban separated after almost ۲۰ years of marriage.
Divorce lawyers have previously said some couples are putting off splitting up because of the cost of living crisis. Recent figures have shown the average length of a marriage ending in divorce in England and Wales reached a record high last year.
ONS figures have long shown that the seven-year itch appears to exist; since records began in ۱۹۶۳, the largest proportion of divorces each year has almost always been among those who have spent between five to nine years as a couple.
Just over a quarter (۲۶%) of the ۱۰۲,۸۷۹ divorces involving opposite-sex couples in England and Wales last year had been married for ۲۰ years or more, while ۲۳% were between five and nine years. This is the second time the five- to nine-year category has been pushed to second place. In the mid-۱۹۸۰s it happened when a new law cut the minimum term of a marriage from three years to one.
Divorce lawyers think the rise of the divorce after ۲۰ years is due to couples staying together for the sake of the children. Lisa Pepper, a divorce lawyer at Osbornes Law, told the Sunday Times: “The largest percentage of cases I see are after a long marriage. Staying together for the sake of the children is true.”
The trend is also happening in the US: a Pew research group study found the incidents of those divorcing after ۲۰ years had doubled since the ۱۹۹۰s. Researchers cautioned: “Divorce at this stage of life can also have some downsides. Grey divorcees tend to be less financially secure than married and widowed adults, particularly among women. And living alone at older ages can be detrimental to one’s financial comfort and, for men, their satisfaction with their social lives.”
Analysis from the US law firm Weinberger found: “Marrying for life is no longer seen as the pinnacle of successful adulthood – especially in more progressive areas of the country. Those who have adequate financial resources to flourish solo may feel more freedom to uncouple.
“With less societal pressure to stay together no matter what, ‘grey divorcees’ have more ‘permission’ to unshackle themselves from unhappy marriages and make the best of their golden years.”
Earlier ONS figures for England and Wales found the average marriage ending in divorce in ۲۰۲۵ lasted for ۱۳ years. This is the longest since records began in ۱۹۶۳ and up from a record low of ۸.۹ years in ۱۹۸۵.
Rebecca Aston‑Jones, a senior associate at Clarke Willmott, a law firm that specialises in divorce, said the rising cost of living was keeping unhappy couples together.
“One of the main factors discouraging people from pursuing a divorce is the significant financial pressure that comes with establishing and maintaining two separate households,” she said.
